The Official Modest Needs Blog

End the Shame of Asking for Money: You are Not a Charity Case

Asking for help, especially financial help, often comes with a great deal of shame. Asking for a hand with money can be embarrassing. In fact, we see many applicants at Modest Needs who wait until their situations are incredibly dire before coming to us for help. It is unfortunate, because asking for help is one of the best ways to help yourself. It takes bravery.

But this terrific post from Give Forward emphasizes the importance of ridding ourselves of the shame stigma when it comes to money. And asks that as friends and neighbors that we not be afraid to give when the going gets tough:

As a society, we are generous in celebratory moments like the birth of a baby, graduation, or a wedding. But we’re often afraid to give when times are bad. And it’s not because people don’t want to help. If anything over the last three years at GiveForward we have witnessed that people truly do want to help, and the act of giving can be a remarkably empowering experience.  Rather, the reason people are hesitant to give money is because they are afraid of making the beneficiary feel like a charity case.

We feel strongly that this “charity case” stigma needs to end!  And it needs to end today.  According to a recent study by Duke University, the average cancer patient pays over $8500 a year in out of pocket expenses not covered by insurance.   If 75% of Americans can’t come up with $2000 in an emergency, imagine how few can come up with $8,500.  I’d wager that for 99.5% of Americans an expense of this nature would be devastating.

So the reality is that we’re all in the same boat.  I’m a charity case.  You’re a charity case. Everyone is a charity case — every single one of us, whether we are in the lower class, middle class or upper class.

Such a great message to remember and to share and spread around. Don't wait for others to ask for help when you can tell they need it. Save them the embarrassment. And contribute to a future world where there is no shame in asking for help one genuinely needs.

[Photo by Quazie]

Application of the Day: Help Getting Dentures Will Allow Her To Eat

Suffering from chronic pain is a terrible thing for anyone to have to go through. But imagine that the medicine you take for things like spinal stenosis & spondylitis (inflammation and fusing of the spine) caused you to lose your teeth, forcing you to eat "baby food."

This is the plight of our Applicant of the Day from Kerrville, Texas who is asking for your help with the cost of dentures which, in addition to allowing her to smile and chew, would improve her "self-esteem and depression...and [she] can finally enjoy different types of food."

She writes, "Please help me." And you can help. 19 people have already given, the largest donation $100, the smallest just $3. Each dollar counts toward improving this lady's standard of living.

[Photo by D. Sharon Pruitt]

Robbing a Bank not for Money, but for Health Care

What do you do when you want to live, but you've run out of options? What do you do when you've lost your job of 17 years and can't find steady work in a nation with nearly 10% unemployment? What do you do when you find a protrusion bulging from your chest, but have no health insurance? What do you do when the pain is so intense that you can no longer stand it?

If you are one North Carolina man, you rob a bank. Not for millions or thousands or even hundreds of dollars, but for a single dollar. In fact, he paid more for the cab ride to his crime scene than he took from bank tellers. Why did he do this? Because he knew that he would be arrested and charged with a felony and sent to jail, where he would recieve free housing, free food and, perhaps most urgently, free health care:

He executed the robbery the most passive way he knew how.

He handed the teller a note demanding one dollar, and medical attention.

“I didn’t have any fears,” said Verone. “I told the teller that I would sit over here and wait for police.”

[...]

Verone expected to be charged with bank robbery.

Because he only demanded $1, he was charged with larceny from a person. Still a felony, the count doesn’t carry as much jail time as bank robbery.

The bearded, gray-haired man plans to represent himself in court. He’s trying not to get too confident about his knowledge of the legal system. He just wants to prepare a statement for the judge and then take whatever active sentence he is given.

Verone is considering an ultimatum if the penalty isn’t great enough, he said.

The crime will happen again.

Do to unemployment, lack of health insurance and the cost of medical care in this country, this individual did what he thought he had to do to survive. And we aren't talking about taking money that didn't belong to him, we are talking about being forced to commit a crime he otherwise wouldn't have committed in hopes of getting adequate health care. It's a sad statement about how dire things have become in the economy and how desperate some people have become.

When you give to Modest Needs, you help those just like Verone who have fallen between the cracks. Your generosity through this organization prevents desperate acts such as these. Never forget that.

What do you think of this crime committed, not for the money, but for basic survival?  We'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

[Photo by drazz]

Application of the Day: Help Greiving Woman Get License to Work

The Applicant of the Day is from a Daly City, California woman whose life partner recently passed away, who is seeking assistance in renewing her appraiser's license so that she can continue to have a steady income. She writes:

"In the past, when my finances were bad, I could always depend on my late life partner to help me through. He died a month before my last license renewal in July 2009. My family is not able to help me with the amount I am requesting...If I don't take the course, and as a result, do not renew my license, I will have absolutely no income. I am not yet eligible for Social Security, and because I am self-employed, I do not qualify for unemployment."

If you'd like to help this grieving, hard-working California woman get the licensing she needs to stay self-sufficient and avoid a fall into poverty, you can do so here. Every little bit helps.

[Photo by U.S. Army]

Application of the Day: Help Disabled Woman Who Saved Her Service Dog

The Application of the Day is a from a disabled woman who depends on her therapy dog for a better quality of life. So, she did the only thing she knew to do when her therapy dog had a seizure that lasted a full 5 minutes. She saved his life.

"I still had my rent money in the bank because I was waiting to get the new rent amount (I live in subsidized housing and my rent fluctuates according to my income). I had no choice but to pay the vet bill and pay for the taxi with my rent money. The cost of the vet and transportation used up every bit of the rent for the month."

She writes, "I have no family to help and none of my friends have this kind of money to lend."

You can help this disabled lady from Auburn, Maine to avoid eviction, something no one should have to suffer for helping the being that helps her each and every day.

Set to Expire: 7 Chances to Stop Poverty in its Tracks

Wondering where your generosity will make the most impact? Want to make a difference in the life of someone today? Wish your gift could turn a family's life around immediately?

Below are seven great chances to stop poverty in its tracks. These seven requests will expire in the next five days.

If instant gratification motivates you, this is the perfect place to start.

1. Veteran Needs Mortgage Assistance
2. Stop Eviction For Single Mom
3. FT Student/Mom: Dental Bill
4. Mom's The Breadwinner - Car Repairs
5. New Job - First Month Of Rent
6. Elderly Woman - Gas Bill Help
7. Service Dog Needs Access Training

[Photo by Nicki Varkevisser]

Application of the Day: Help Grandma who Lost Her Daughter Care for the Kids

The Applicant of the Day is a woman whose daughter died, leaving her two raise the two grandchildren left behind. As her daughter was only 34 years old when she passed, there was no inheritance, only bills left unpaid.

She writes that needed car repairs are preventing her from getting the grandchildren she now cares for to school and doctor appointments. This Nevada woman is requesting assistance with getting her car fixed so that she can adequately take care of these boys who so tragically lost their mother. Click through to see how many points are needed.

[Photo by Adam Lautenbach]

Giving Back: Formerly Hungry Helps Those Without

Today I'd like to share with you a very moving little story told by a woman who volunteers at the Mid-South Food Bank in Memphis, Tennessee. Glendora Greenway, aged 59, went to bed many times in her young life hungry and cold. She gives back now to those without in hopes that another little girl won't go without dinner.

One interesting part of her story is that just like at Modest Needs, the donors/volunteers, are also the recipients. The same people who help to sort and hand out the food are also those in line to get the food.

Take four minutes out of your day to hear how past hunger drives one woman to do as much as she can to prevent that suffering for others.

[Photo by Walmart Stores]

Application of the Day: Elderly Mom & Recent Amputee Is Almost There

The Applicant of the Day is a touching example of someone who takes tragedy in stride while exhibiting selflessness:

I recently entered the hospital to have a left leg bypass surgery. At first, this four and a half hour operation seemed to be a success. However, after a few days, there was no pulse from my knee down, so they tried administering thinners in hopes of saving my leg. Sadly, these attempts yielded no results, and I had no choice other than to have my left leg amputated above the knee.

This elderly Sun Lakes, Arizona woman is in rehabilitation for recovery from the leg amputation. However, after 20 days in rehab, she is responsible for a substantial co-payment each day.

She writes,"I live in a rental home with my younger sister, who is also retired, and I do not wish to be a financial burden on anyone."

This request is one for a larger amount, but it is already 83% of the way to fully funded! Only 435 points remain. And if you are a first time donor you can make your gift go twice (or even three times) as far through our current matching program. Click here to keep this elederly mom afloat.

[Photo by Ritesh Man Tamrakar]

One Word Sunday

Incentives.