At Modest Needs, one of our grants is designed specifically to assist those with disabilities. Some of these disabilities are invisible--unseeable to the naked eye--unless you are living with it. When you are living with these invisible illnesses, they can shatter your whole world.
This post from the Good Men Project is a heartbreaking, but honest look at life with someone with mental illness:
[T]he most troubling part is you no longer want help, because help means doing the dance all over again.
Hell, I can’t blame you. To have to feel like this every few years is torture. You spend months finding the exact balance of medication that allows you to function on a daily basis. Not to make you feel great, mind you. Just enough to get by. I can’t imagine hoping that the best case scenario is that my mood will stabilize at slightly below happy.
If we get lucky, the meds work for awhile and that’s nice. It was a couple years this last time. But then it stops working and the demons return. Suddenly you have to start from scratch. And the upcoming months to find the right mix of meds might as well be an eternity.
And yes, I know life off the meds is enticing because you actually feel better. At least at first. But even though you feel like Superwoman off the medication, we both know it’s fleeting. You can’t live life in fast forward because you’ll crash, leading to life in slow motion. And I think we both remember how awful that is.
So we enter the fray once again. Not because we want to, but because we have to. It isn’t fun and I hate it. It’s 100 times worse for you and it kills me to see you struggle. But it’s important because I love you and I need you here with me. And Will needs you too. You’re his mom. You make this family tick and without you everything grinds to a halt.
You can read the entire piece, and I suggest that you do, here.
[Photo by Helga Weber]