What You Did: Grave Stone for a Grieving Mother

"A child who has lost his parents is an orphan. A husband who has lost his wife is a widower. A wife who has lost her husband is a widow. But there is no word for a parent who has lost a child."

I remember hearing the sentiment above in a movie, I think. I can't remember the name of the film or who was in it or what it was about, but those lines were so powerful that they will stick with me for the rest of my life.

I have no children. I am not sure that I ever plan to. And so, naturally, I have not even the slightest inkling of what it must be like to bring a being into this world, only to be crushed, completely, when they leave it prematurely.

But I know the pain of heartbreak, as most of us do, and I imagine that the heartbreak of losing a child is nearly insurmountable.

A woman in Hondo, Texas knows this suffering all too well. Nine years ago her daugter passed away from complications related to severe cerebral palsy; her little girl was just 18 years old. Compounding her sadness was the fact that she just couldn't afford a headstone for her dear daughter. For nine years she visited the grave of her child, which must be difficult enough, only to bear the burden of knowing that her daughter was not properly recognized in stone. It made dealing with her death that much harder.

All these years later, you have given this grieving mother a little relief. You, through your generous donations and persistent efforts, have given this mother a small respite from the pain. In fact, you have granted what she has called "a last wish" in her life.

More than 20 people pooled their donations--some as small as a dollar--to see to it that this heartbroken woman's request for a simple headstone for her daughter was granted. The Modest Needs community saw to it that her daughter is buried with dignity, which is an amazing gift. In fact, this mother told us that this is "the greatest gift anyone has given me or my family, thank you so much."

This, friends, is what Modest Needs is all about. Providing needs that can put a person back on the road towards whole. And you are the ones making it happen.

Bravo, team. You do good work.

[Photo by Simon Cocks]

Comments

[Lynn]

Beautiful story. And that quote? Brenda said it in Six Feet Under. I think it was the first season. "You know what I find interesting? If you lose a spouse, you're called a widow, or a widower. If you're a child and you lose your parents, then you're an orphan. But what's the word to describe a parent who loses a child? I guess that's just too f****ing awful to even have a name."

[brittney]

That's it!

Thank you, Lynn.

[Lynn]

No problem! That resonated with me too. For the last two years I've been watching a friend's 6-year-old battle neuroblastoma, and I keep thinking about that quote. It really is too horrible to contemplate, let alone name.