The Official Modest Needs Blog

This Story Is One Of Millions

When we hear the numbers as often as we do, we can grow numb. 9%. More than 9%. Almost 1/10th of the population is unemployed. One of every ten adults.

But what is hard to grasp is that each of these one in ten has a story. In fact, they have many, many stories that illustrate precisely how much of a toll being without income can take on a person. 

Below is an excerpt from a blog post from a woman who has fruitlessly been looking for work. This is just one story of one afternoon in her shoes:

I opened the menu to see the only thing offered on Sundays was an $18.95 prix fixe, except for a few sides.

I about hyperventilated.  I can’t afford $18.95.  My best option is $2.50 plain bagel (I wasn’t going to splurge the extra $1.50 for cream cheese) but the truth is, I’m starving, because I didn’t eat my tupperware food, or get any sleep last night because I was (as a volunteer) putting on a concert. And I’m going to look so awkward eating a plain bagel while everyone else eats the multi-course prix fixe.

The guy next to me, a long time church friend, notices my apprehension and immediately offers to pay for my meal.

I immediately start crying.

I’m so embarrassed.  

So embarrassed that I don’t have $18.95, that I’m in this place where I don’t have any savings to live off while I find a new job, where my only income are the unemployment checks that have barely started to trickle in.  Embarrassed that no one wants me, that I have applied to dozens of jobs over the last year and not had a single interview. Embarrassed that going to brunch with friends is so stressful. Embarrassed that if I am going to eat lunch here, I have to accept his gift.  And embarrassed that I’m so f-cking grateful that I’m crying in this restaurant because my friend is buying my lunch.

I didn’t know how much I’d come to associate value, worth, moral goodness with financial stability and success.  I am repulsed by that notion, but the truth is, now that I have no money, I’m ashamed of myself.  I feel like a failure, like I’ve blown something, done something fundamentally wrong, and I don’t want anyone to know how hard it is, because I don’t want anyone to see me the way I sometimes see myself. I have new empathy for people for whom this struggle is not new and temporary. I repent of my past sub-conscious judgments.

I dab at my eyes so the mascara doesn’t run and I try to make a joke but the truth is, I am grateful, I am so grateful that he perceived my apprehension and offered to treat me so casually, that he didn’t make a thing of it, that he meant it.  And I’m grateful that I get to eat eggs benedict and a beer and a coffee and a salad, and not a plain bagel, because this friend stepped in and didn’t make me feel like a failure, but just like a friend he could help out this time.

If you’re reading this, as you sometimes do, thank you. You gave me a lot more than a meal.

Not only does this story show the devestation of unemployment, but it is also a wonderful lesson in how small, almost imperceptible acts of kindness can save someone from not only hunger, but shame and embarrassment and so much more. This story reminds us to be aware of those around us, to find opportunities to save someone from an awful experience. This story is one of millions.

[Photo by Jon Mountjoy]

Application of the Day: Help Disabled Father Keep Electricity on for Family

The Applicant of the Day is a struggling father in Clinton, Illinois who badly wants his disability not to burden his family:

Our household is usually full of love and laughter, but for the last year it has been a very tough road. About a year ago I started passing out every time I stood up or lifted anything. I was diagnosed with a disease called postural orthostaic tachychardia syndrome. My illness is so severe I'm unable to do almost anything. I'm bored to death and am only able to lie here watching my family undergo rough times and am unable to help with anything. My wife and our two teenage sons have adjusted to the situation at hand, but it is tough not being able to provide for them. We gave them good childhoods and they were always well taken care of, but it's tough to lie here and watch them suffer because of my disability. I've held off as long as possible to ask for help hoping disability benefits would come faster, but we are at a point that our bills have caught up to us and now we really could use assistance and any help received by our family would genuinely be cherished. 

We have been barely making it off of my wife's income and from me selling all of my possessions I've collected all my life. I have recently ran out of stuff to sell, and I believe it will be another 2 to 6 months until disability begins paying me. We need help catching up on our power bill before winter. 

We are getting very scared. If we do not receive funding to help us out we will lose our house, because we will have to choose heat for the winter. We are in a pit of despair at the moment, I know we will pull out of this in the future but we still have some rough patches ahead. We just don't have enough to pay every bill, so every month we have been choosing which bill not to pay and hoping that we will have enough to cover it doubly next month, but usually don't. Now we are at a point at which we are behind on almost everything and the walls are closing in. 

If we were able to get this help before Christmas, we may be able to provide a little something for the boys. I know there are good people still left in this world, but I'm afraid my wife is beginning to lose hope. One of her biggest fears is not being able to get them stuff at Christmas time. Without this help we would not be able to provide that. If that day comes and goes without assistance we truly will be in a dark place. With help, I'm hoping that she will see the good that is still out there and that we can still be hopeful for our outcome in this grim age. Once again, I'd like to thank everyone who helps us out and know that you really are helping someone out in their darkest of days. May great things happen for those who help families out like mine in our time of need. Thank you.

You can invest in this family by making a contribution on their request page.

Friday Matinee: What is Gross National Happiness?

What is Gross National Happiness, and does our country have a good amount of it? Check this terrific explanation of what GNH is, all told in under three minutes:

Application of the Day: Help Transplant Donor & Recipient Become Self-Sufficient

Together we can help this wife generous enough to donate a kidney to her spouse pay off the final bill from his life-saving procedure:

My husband and I live together with our two children, ages three and nine. My husband is currently disabled because of renal failure. We were blessed that I was able to donate my kidney to him. My husband and I are both students planning on starting our careers. I am studying to be a social worker, and my husband is attending school for video production. 

After the transplant surgery, we thought that all our medical bills were paid and up to date. Then we received an unexpected bill last month for $300. This is what was left over after Medicare paid the bill. 

We are seeking assistance through Modest Needs because our monthly budget is already maxed out. Our only source of income is the social security money my husband receives. We do not have any extra funds to afford this bill. 

We have sacrificed so much over the last two years to get our family in a position to get out of debt and get off food stamps and state health insurance. We are so close to owning our own home, but if this bill goes into collections we will no longer qualify. 

Funding this application will make sure that we dont have any set backs for purchasing our home. Taking this step to purchase our own 4-unit building will set us up financially in the long run. If this medical bill is not paid and goes into collections we wont qualify for the home any more. Thank you for reading.

To invest in this family, please visit their request page to contribute.

Your Portal for Daily Kindness

Be kind.

It's a simple, clear cut mantra that is "always possible." Few would argue that being kind is not an action one should strive for. But is it always easy? No. Is it always top of mind? No.

Which is why I was delighted to discover the website Random Acts of Kindness which is a site devoted to promoting and facilitating kindness. It has daily kindness ideas (like share a playlist with a friend), a kindness idea database, free resources for educators, a place for sharing kindness stories and tons more.

The clean layout and engagingbdesign makes it a joy to surf around on. Go ahead, get inspired. Check out Random Acts of Kindness today.

Application of the Day: Single Mom & Air Force Member Seeks Assistance

Let's help this US military mom keep the lights on for her children:

I am the single veteran mother of three children. I have served in the United States Air Force for over 12 years. I provide for all of my children's needs without any government assistance or assistance from my ex-husband. My children mean the world to me, and I would be so grateful if I am provided the assistance they need to ensure their lives continue as normal and is not interrupted due to our financial hardship. 

Recently I had to pay over $1,000 for a car repair and as such, I am unable to pay my unusually high electric bill. The power company is willing to work with me, however I have to have something in place soon or face life without electricity. Under the Self-Sufficiency Grant, I am seeking one-time assistance with my outstanding electric bill. 

Right now the outstanding bill is $400. This is an unusual occurrence, as generally I make enough money to take care of our home, but an unexpected expense of this magnitude really drained my monthly budget. 

If my family loses electricity we will not be able to function. I have a 2 year old, 11 year old, and a 13 year old, and they need electricity to go to school and do their homework. We need to be able to cook as well. The loss of electricity would be detrimental to our lives. Constantly having to worry about this has been emotionally draining. I am walking around with a constant headache and it affects my interaction with my children as well. Please consider me for a grant. 

Funding this grant would forever assist me and my children because we would not have to worry for a month about how we will have electricity. It will allow them to go to school worry free and only worry about their studies. I would be able to continue defending the country without worrying how my own children will survive if I cannot even cook them a meal in our home. Please consider us for a grant. 

Funding this grant would forever assist me and my children because we would not have to worry for a month about how we will have electricity. It will allow them to go to school worry free and only worry about their studies. I would be able to continue defending the country without worrying how my own children will survive if I cannot even cook them a meal in our home. Thank you for considering us. 

Keep Your Home California Helps Rescue Home Owners

Have you heard about the federal program established to help certain individuals and families keep their homes in the midst of financial crisis? The program is in place in California, and, by its own claims, has helped over 700 families stay in their homes.

It's called Keep Your Home California, and it's a rescue program meant to "help California homeowners struggling to pay their mortgages. California has received nearly $2 billion in federal funding and is working with housing counselors, servicers and housing advocates to provide assistance that will help prevent avoidable foreclosures and keep Californians in their homes." 

You don't even have to be behind on your mortgage payment to be a participant.  Any California homeowner who meets the eligibility requirements can qualify. And just what are those requirements?, you ask:

General homeowner eligibility requirements for these programs include, but not limited to, the following:

Own and occupy home as their primary residence
Current unpaid principal balance of first mortgage cannot exceed $729,750
Meet low and moderate area income limits
Complete and sign a Hardship Affidavit to document reason for hardship
Mortgage loan is delinquent or in imminent default
Adequate income to sustain modified mortgage payments according to participating servicer guidelines

If this program is one that can benefit you or someone you know, please pass this post along. More information abou Keep Your Home California at their website.

Application of the Day: Help Stay-at-Home Mom Get Crucial Medical Care

The Applicant of the Day is a new mother who lost her job just after giving birth:

I am the mother to a beautiful 18 month old boy. I lost my job last year while I was on maternity leave. I had been employed, working with parents and helping families in my community, but the grant we worked under ended, and I was given the greatest opportunity to stay at home with my son. It has been both good and bad--good in the fact that I have watched son grown and been the best mother to him, bad in that it has been real hard financially and health wise. About six months after giving birth, I was diagnosed with Hyperthyroid and was really sick for several months. I had no insurance and was unable to receive government benefits due to my income amount and pre-existing health conditions. This year I was able to see a wonderful endocrinologist and gastronologist and slowly started to feel better once again. I recently completed my Masters in Education this year, and hope to return working with families and children here in the community. 

I need Modest Needs' help to afford a colonoscopy procedure and and also my gastronologist will require biopsies that will require a fee as well. I am unable to afford this cost and do not have insurance. We only have enough money for our living expenses at this time. This is an unexpected medical need. I need to take care of this, since my health is not well at this time and I need a specialist to examine me. Since I lost my job last year, our income has decreased and only afford to pay rent, food, gas and necessities of our son. We earn just enough to live, but not enough for medical emergencies. 

Receiving financial assistance for this medical procedure will make me so happy because it is crucial to my health. It will relieve my family from the stress whether and when will I get medical attention. It will mean everything that there are good people out there and despite how the economy is, there is someone who has a big heart and wants to help a family. This will make a lasting and true difference in our lives because of the closed doors we have had in the past with regards to getting help for this.

To invest in the life of this new mom and her young son, please do so here.

"This is the first time I have ever had to ask for help."

"This is the first time I have ever had to ask for help."

That is a sobering and sadly common refrain from individuals and families who have been brought to their knees by the housing market crash, unemployment or other Great Recession byproducts. Many of them had no idea where to turn. Even more still waited for weeks or months to seek assistance due to shame or denial or simply a lack of know-how. Once rock solid incomes are now vansished. Fear of asking for help is prevalent. As is evidenced by this passage from a report about the sky high rate of poverty in the suburbs:

Elizabeth Kneebone, a senior researcher at the Brookings Institution, who conducted the analysis of census data told The New York Times, "The growth has been stunning. For the first time, more than half of the metropolitan poor live in suburban homes."

The Times looks at Cleveland's suburbs where 60 percent of the cities poor now reside, up from 46 percent in 2000. Unlike urban centers where the poor are often accustomed to assistance, out in the once prosperous suburbs, residents are reluctant to ask for help.

Churches offering assistance will post a member at the entrance to the drive, assuring people who drive by that it is OK to stop and receive help.

And demand is way up. The Cleveland Food Bank doubled its distribution to six counties between 2005 and 2010. The Food Bank's director Anne Goodman told the NYT that among residents, "There's this sense of surprise. This feeling that this has got to be a mistake. It has got to be a bad dream."

This unfortunate reality is why it is so important to spread the word about Modest Needs. There is a lot of shame and embarrassment that comes needing financial help in this country. So much so that people will wait in agony for months before their situation becomes so desperate they have no choice. 

You can add a link to our website as your email signature. Post a link on your Facebook wall. Mention it to your book club or church group. There are tons of ways to spread the word about Modest Needs in creative ways that don't make anyone feel singled out or ashamed. Try it; you'll see. You never know whose life you might be saving. Find us at modestneed.org.

Application of the Day: Help Fixing Heater to Keep Him Healthy

He's been forced into a wheelchair, but we can keep him independent by providing the modest need of mobility:

My family consists of my wife and I, our 16-year-old daughter and two dogs. My wife has bi-polar disorder, as well as diverticulosis, and she currently collects Social Security for her disability. I was working up until August 24, 2011. I have Lupus, Sjogren's, Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome, Raynauds disease, Heart Disease, Severe Asthma, Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis, and am in Hemolytic Anemia. I have recently filed for Social Security also, as I cannot work. My doctor also said I could no longer use stairs, and so as our bedroom was upstairs and our kitchen and bathroom, and living room are all downstairs, our 16 year old daughter moved all of our belongings downstairs where now my wife and I have separate rooms. 

I just got a power wheel chair but can't go anywhere because I haven't gotten a ramp for my home or a lift for my car. I need Modest Needs help to pay for our car heater to be repaired. I have Raynauds disease in my hands and feet, and I cannot have them get cold. The Raynauds goes along with my Lupus. Please help us pay for the heater in our car. Our family was self-sufficient until just recently, and this assistance would get us right back on track. 

This need was an unexpected need. The heater was not used during the summer, so we had no clue it wasn't working until we tried to use it when it became cold here in Michigan. I was the only one working and my wife received Social Security for her disability, so we lived paycheck to paycheck and could not save for emergencies. The winter here in Michigan is fast approaching and we really need the heater fixed. Thank you so much. 

Financially this would greatly help us, as we find ourselves struggling now since I am disabled. I used to work two jobs, and then could only work one because of my Lupus. Now I am not working at all and in a power wheelchair. This has depressed me. I feel like less of a man and person now. If a stranger were to donate and help us pay for the car heater, I would consider it a blessing from God and be amazed at how gracious the person was who was giving to an unknown person. This world is full of people who don't care and only care about themselves. I am not one of those persons, and I would donate to and have given to strangers myself in the past when I could. The feeling is awesome when you give to a stranger and they are blessed by it. I would like to know what it feels like from the other end. Thank you so much.

Invest in this family here.