The Official Modest Needs Blog

Write It Down: A Thanksgiving Day Challenge

One of the best ways, they say, to lose weight is to write down everything you eat--every single bite. Did you pop an M&M into your mouth at the receptionist's desk? Write it down. Did you swipe some peanut butter into your mouth whilemaking your kid's lunch? Write it down. That sugar in your coffee? Write it down.

You don't even have to count calories, I've heard, to make this technique work. The simple act of writing down your intake throughout the day, every day, will make you infinitely more aware of what--and how much--you eat.

This Thanksgiving Day I challenge you to do much the same. No, I don't expect you to record every forkful of stuffing that passes your lips this holiday. That would be cruel and unusual. Instead, I challenge you to write down all the things your are grateful for on Thanksgiving Day.

The task is a simple one: Grab a piece of paper and a pen and keep it on you for the entire day. Each time you think of something you are thankful for, write it down. Mom's amazing monkey bread? Write it down. That you had hot water when you showered? Write it down. Make a list of all the good things in your life on the day of giving thanks, and see how many you can come up with. Ten? Twenty? I bet by day's end you can make your list fifty items long. The more things you are consciously grateful for, the more of those things you will notice.

Why should you take the Write It Down Thanksgiving Challenge? Because it just might make you happier and healthier overall:

• Those who kept weekly gratitude journals performed more regular fitness training, reported fewer symptoms of physical pain, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week.
• Participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to have made progress toward important personal goals.
• Self-guided gratitude intervention resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness, energy and improved sleep.

Overall, Emmons found, "The practice of gratitude can increase happiness levels by about 25 percent."

Are you up for the challenge? All it takes is a pencil, a scrap of paper and a willingness to have your eyes opened to all the wonderful things your life has to offer.

(More reading on this topic.)

It is when we acknowledge what we have that we can open our arms to others.

[Photo by Crystal]

It Started With a Simple Idea: The Birth of Modest Needs

It all started with a simple idea and a serious amount of drive. I am talking about the birth of Modest Needs Foundation.

Nine years ago, my friend, Dr. Keith Taylor, a person I'd met through my university in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, did something incredibly inspiring. He planted the seed for a project, and despite any naysayers in his way, he grew it into the award-winning charity it is today.

That idea was this: That he would donate 10% of his earnings each month, roughly $300, to people who needed it more than he did. People who might lose their lights if they didn't come up with a little money somehow. People who worked hard to provide, but were a little short on buying things like eye glasses or sturdy beds for their children. People who needed a hand before they slipped into a vicious cycle of poverty, but had no one to turn to.

And he was going to try to get others to do the same.

I don't remember where we were when he was brave enough to share his plan with me. Perhaps over a meal or a drink, but I remember precisely what I thought when he told me, and that thought was that he was nuts.

I mean, I thought it was incredibly kind. And generous. And that the idea was solid and good. And I had no doubt that he would indeed give 10% of his pay to others in need, but it was the notion that anyone else would do the same that gave me serious pause.

Call it cynicism somehow tangled up with naivety, but I never thought the idea would fly.

"You might give away money to those who are struggling, but no one else is going to," I told him. And I would be lying if I said he didn't look disappointed in my response. But never was there a moment when I thought he wouldn't try.

And try he did. And nine years later, Modest Needs is funding thousands of applications every year with the help of a board of directors, a full-time staff of five people from an office in New York City. Modest Needs has been featured in Forbes, CNN, the Today Show and multiple other media outlets. The impact that your donations and efforts have had in the past nine years is astounding, fulfilling and, for many, life-saving.

I have never been more happy to have been wrong.

Fast forward almost a decade, and the person who told him his wild idea would never take flight, sits behind a desk writing this blog post as the VP of Marketing and Outreach for the organization she was sure would never exist. We've come full circle, and I've swallowed my words, and joined the team of dedicated individuals and community of amazing donors who have not only made that idea possible, but seen it grow and thrive.

Dr. Taylor and I aren't family, but in a way I consider this organization a family affair. There is history there. I watched what seemed impossible branch out into something awesome, and now I get to be a part of it. Thanks to his perserverance and your dedication as donors, a mere thought became a well-respected institution dedicated to helping people who are on the verge of a financial crisis.

Despite my initial reservations about Modest Needs all those nine years ago, in a way I helped give the fledgling charity a push. I wasn't sure how far Modest Needs would go, but I posted a small link to a widely-read website called Metafilter, and from there the rest is history. It wasn't long before reporters and producers were contacting Dr. Taylor for interview availability, and thanks to that exposure, an invaluable network of donors emerged.

I tell you all of this because I think the roots of Modest Needs Foundation are fascinating ones. The skeptics are now on staff. The Little Idea That Could really, really did. In a big way.

It's encouraging, this notion that you can dream up a way to do good, and even though others may try to swat down your hopes, a little fortitude plus the overall goodness of human beings will indeed prevail.

[Photo by D. Sharon Pruitt]

A Day for Thanks : Stranger Edition

Sunday is traditionally a day of thanksgiving, so I am taking this Sunday to thank a stranger who got me out of a really scary predicament about 15 years.

Long, long ago, before everyone had a cell phone, a drove a hand-me-down car that was on it's last leg. But I was an active teenager, so I did not let that stop me from driving that car everywhere. One night I was coming back to my mom's home in Ashland City, Tennessee late at night after an evening of play rehearsal. The way home was a long, dark two lane road with the minimum number of street lights. I was on that empty stretch when my car simply stopped working--coasted to a stop in the dead of the night.

To say I was freaked out would be putting it highly lightly. I had no phone, no car, and was 15 miles from home.

So, I just started walking. And crying. And praying that I would not be hit by a car, kidnapped or worse.

I walked only a quarter mile before a car pulled up. It was a man, in a dress shirt and tie, and he rolled down the passenger side window and the first thing he said was, "Please don't be scared. I am not going to hurt you. I just want to be sure you are safe. I can either take you to a phone or drive to one while you wait here."

Everything I had ever been taught told me never to get into a car with a stranger, but I got good vibes from this person and the alternative was staying out on the highway in the dark by myself, so I got in. He drove me to a pay phone.

I called my parents and he allowed me to wait in his car for them. He stood outside the car. Soon my parents arrived and took me home, after thanking the man for looking out for me.

"I'm a daddy to a daughter, too. It is what I would want to happen."

I never saw him again, and I failed to catch his name.

So, today, on this Sunday, I give thanks form the stranger who bailed me out 15 years ago, when he could have just kept right on driving.

Is there a stranger in your life or from your past you want to thank?

"Build Yourself a Great Story"

The creator and CEO of Amazon, the most famous and successful online retailer, Jeff Bezos, gave a commencement speech at Princeton University that is a sentiment that should be heard by more than just that graduating class. The advice he gives in his speech is to choose kindness, because: "Cleverness is a gift, kindness is a choice. Gifts are easy -- they're given after all. Choices can be hard."

You should read the whole speech if you have time. It's not that long, and it's pretty powerful. There is a section toward the end where he asks the graduates a series of questions. And if this isn't a list of questions every human being should ask themselves regularly, then I don't know what is. Here they are:

Tomorrow, in a very real sense, your life -- the life you author from scratch on your own -- begins. 

•  How will you use your gifts? 
• What choices will you make? 
• Will inertia be your guide, or will you follow your passions? 
• Will you follow dogma, or will you be original? 
• Will you choose a life of ease, or a life of service and adventure? 
• Will you wilt under criticism, or will you follow your convictions? 
• Will you bluff it out when you're wrong, or will you apologize? 
• Will you guard your heart against rejection, or will you act when you fall in love? 
• Will you play it safe, or will you be a little bit swashbuckling? 
• When it's tough, will you give up, or will you be relentless? 
• Will you be a cynic, or will you be a builder? 
• Will you be clever at the expense of others, or will you be kind?

I like the last question the most.

Do you have a favorite?

Read the entire speech at Princeton.edu.

[Photo by Joshua Davis]

What Genuinely Makes Us Happy?

"You have to do well in school, so that you can get into a good college, go to graduate school, then get a high-paying job in a renowned career."

How many kids have heard some form of this refrain over and over and over again until it was imprinted on their brains? A good number, and a good number of those go on to do exactly that.

My father liked to tell me that I'd be pumping gas at a service station if I didn't get a good education. Since pumping gas has become almost ubiquitously self-serve, that's pretty funny in retrospect, but would pumping gas at a service station have been such a bad lot in life? Would I have been unhappy not graduating, making minimum wage, doing manual labor (if you can call pumping gas that)?

Not necessarily.

New studies in what is known as "positive psychology" show that being highly educated, wealthy or young really aren't the things that make people happy in life. From The Examining Room of Dr. Charles:

[R]esearch on happiness, optimism, positive emotions and healthy character traits has been increasing in psychology. Some surprising results challenge our assumptions, such as the fact that once basic needs are met, money does not increase happiness. Neither do high education or high IQ. Older people tend to be happier than young.

The sunny weather in California and Florida does not make people happier than those living in colder and cloudier climes.

The trait most shared by happy people seems to be close connections with family and friends, bolstered by a commitment to spending time with them. Other factors that are associated with happiness include contributing to the lives of others, a good relationship with a spouse, control over one’s life and decisions, time for leisure, spirituality or religion, and the holiday periods.

This is not to say that being educated, employed in a job that gives you esteem or having disposable income is a bad thing. Only that perhaps focusing more on bonded relationships, marriages, how we spend our time and what we give of ourselves would yield happier people.

Aristotle is said to have proclaimed, "happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence." If you believe that to be the case, what can you change today that will bring your more happiness tomorrow?

[Photo by eflon]

What are You Grateful for Right Now?

"Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there."' -Eckhart Tolle

I'm sure you've heard the saying: "We always want what we can't have." There is a lot of truth in that statement.

It's part of the human condition: wanting more, looking for the new, the exciting, the "what comes next."

The Buddha would say that wanting what you do not or cannot have is the source of much suffering. On that, I think he was right.

Once we acquire what we wanted, how quickly do we move on to wanting something else? I do it. Guilty as charged. But, I think this is common--just part of being a person.

Let's take a moment today to reflect on what we do have, right now. Let's give thanks for the good in our lives, and really spend some time appreciating all the wonderful things we already have.

I'll start with a list of things in my life that I am grateful for, and I'd love it if you did the same in the comments. Let's have a conversation about what is good in the here and now.

• The food in my fridge
• A warm bed to sleep in
• Good health
• People who can and have forgiven
• Friends with whom to laugh or cry
• Family that supports my endeavors
• A secure job
• A safe neighborhood

I know good and well that not everyone has what is on my list. For each and every single one of them, I am lucky.

Listing them all is a powerful way to truly appreciate what you have, right now, right in front of you.

Relish those things. You may be struggling. You may be out of a job. You may not be in the best of health. But by looking around at what we do have, it's a little easier to deal with what we don't.

Now it's your turn. What in your life right now are you most thankful for?

[Photo by dan paluska]

Sharing Profound Thoughts

Yesterday's post about social injustice was a heavy one, so we are lightening up the blog today with an exercise in sharing.

Each day at the Modest Needs Twitter and Facebook accounts I share (what I think is) a thought-provoking quotation. Some are from famous folks, some are not.

Today's is this one: "An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup." -H.L. Mencken

But, now it's your turn. I want to hear from you your favorite motivational, inspiration or humorous quote. Just share it with us in the comments below.

[Photo by quinnanya]

Eating Crow, Delicious Crow: A Story

It was nearly eight long years ago that I first learned about Modest Needs. Founder Keith Taylor was (and remains) a friend of mine, and he ran this crazy idea by me in order to get my opinion.

"Brittney," he said with his patented wry grin, "I'm going to give 10% of my gross income, around $350, each month to people who need it."

He explained to me about how he was once rescued from eviction by a friend when he was in grad school, a time when money was very tight. It was an unforeseen issue, but without the aid of his friend, missing rent may have started him down a path of financial ruin.

"Every month I am going to give $350 to people in situations just like that," he explained.

This did not surprise me. Keith Taylor is a very generous man. It's what he said next that gave me pause.

"And I'm going to see if I can get other people to do the same thing."

It was that part of the idea that made me say something I'll never forget til the end of my days. I replied, "That is not going to work."

Call it cynicism. Call it naivety. Call it hazy foresight, because not only was I dead wrong, eight years later I am now working for Modest Needs, one of the foremost charities in the country. At least if I have to eat my words, they go down easy.

Keith's idea was an inspired one, and nearly a decade later he and his dedicated, hard-working staff have helped so many in immeasurable ways. I'm proud to say I was dead wrong.

So, that's how I learned about Modest Needs. Now what I want to know is how you first learned about Modest Needs. Please share your story about the discovery of the little idea that could, that went from small change to a world of difference.

How did you first find out about Modest Needs?

[Photo by gwire]