The Official Modest Needs Blog

Get It to Give It: Modest Needs' Cheater's Guide to Gratitude

It's Thanksgiving--and this year we're not asking you to share what you're thankful for. Instead, we ask that you take part in a very brief exercise. (This one works particularly well if you're already in a foul mood.) All you need to do is take two minutes to read the words of a few Modest Needs grant recipients who, independent of the holiday, reached out to thank donors for changing their lives.

We're asking you to do this because it's good for you.

Here's why:

Experiencing the gratitude of others, either by witnessing it directly or reading it on a page, leads to an automatic self-inventory, the kind that can help anyone accidentally discover something (or someone) they are thankful for.

Example:

Phase 1: You read one person's appreciation for having their electricity restored.

Phase 2: While reading their story you put yourself in their shoes, imagining what it must have been like to live without working lights or a refrigerator.

Phase 3: You recognize that your electricity is on. You appreciate your lights. You love your refrigerator.

Phase 4. You suddenly feel thankful for your electricity.

Phase 5. You feel thankful, period.

Thankfulness is contagious.

Using another individual's gratitude to uncover hidden appreciation is an exercise that can help anyone, even those suffering hardships or disappointment. Consider it a cheat code for accessing your own thankfulness. And never feel guilty for using it. In trying times it can seem impossible to find something that you're just "okay" with, let alone something you're outright "thankful" for. Using another person's gratitude as a springboard to launch your own hurts no one and helps everyone.

We hope that the testimonials below will help kick your own hidden gratitudes to the surface, making this holiday season one where you exerpience the natural high of gratitude. So go ahead. Here's four chances to try the exercise out:

Grant Request Title: "Widow Raising Grandchild Needs a Hand with the Mortgage" (New Orleans, Louisiana)

Testimonial:

"I would like to thank all of you for fully funding my application for help with our mortgage! I am a widow struggling to stay on top of my bills while taking care of my granddaughter. I work full-time, but my salary is only a little more than minimum wage. The aftermath of Hurricane Katrina is still effecting our lives, and has burdened me with unexpected expenses to repair our lives and home. I am so overwhelmed and grateful. Until your help we thought we would lose our home. I know your good deeds come from your hearts. Just knowing there are people out there who care about helping other people all over the world is a blessing. God Bless all who donated. My sincere thanks to you all."

Grant Request Title: "Must Have All Teeth Extracted, Procedure Not Covered By Insurance" (Morgan Hill, California)

Testimonial

"How can I thank you enough for your selflessness to grant my application? It is so difficult to express how your assistance will help me in my time of need. I am a disabled senior living in a SAFE senior park, and now because of you, I will be able to stay. I did not have to choose between my health and having a home. It is so frightening to think about homelessness at my age. The effects of your generousity carries over into my health. The less stress I experience, the better my blood sugar results become and the fewer overall health problems I have. So you see how awesome it is for me that you chose to fund my application. It also makes me feel hopeful about the future. I assist others in this park who have less than I do, and this fortunate experience allows me to continue my efforts to stay here and continue my support to others."

Grant Request Title: "Single Mom Needs to Pay Nursing License to Keep Job!" (Olympia, Washington)

Testimonial:

"Thank you so much for helping me pay for my nursing license renewal! I could not have paid this without your help. Now I can keep working and bringing in income to support my family, and avoid incurring crazy fees or losing my license. It's wonderful that there is a program that helps people BEFORE they fall through the cracks, not after they fall. I hope someday I can help others the way you've helped me. I can't get over your kindness. Thank you so much!"

Grant Request Title: "Must Buy and Train New Service Dog to Remain Independent" (Lyons, New York)

Testimonial:

"I applied for a grant with Modest Needs to help me adopt a service dog to be my companion and to help me remain independent. After applying, I tried to control my hope. I have suffered many disappointments, including the recent death of my long-time service dog and best friend, and didn't want to be disappointed again. I didn't know if I would have the spiritual strength to apply again for help if I got denied the funding. Which is why I was overwhelmed when my application was fully funded!

Even though I have tried to express how I feel, it is impossible to really tell you how much this grant means to me. It has rejuvenated my will to live just when I needed it most. I will now really be able to raise another puppy to be my constant companion and eternal friend. I will not be alone. I will be able to maintain my independence, something that is important to me and who I am. I am so grateful to everyone. Thank you!"

 

There. That was quick. And painless. Don't you feel just a little bit better? A little thankful, even? There are even more testimonials here.

And for the record, we at Modest Needs are thankful for your ongoing support. Without you, our work would not be possible.

Meet Kimberly Kaye, The Newest Member of the Modest Needs Family

The Modest Needs family is growing! Today we would like to introduce Kimberly Kaye, Modest Needs' new Director of Marketing and Public Outreach. Please allow our newest team member to introduce herself, and explain why she'd like to talk to YOU:

 

Few things make me break into a cold sweat faster than the phrase, "Tell us a little about yourself." It’s been that way since kindergarten. Every first day of school my teachers would ask each student to state their name and sum up their lives in a few sentences for the rest of the class. Every year I'd find myself staring back at a room full of faces, stuttering as I tried to figure out what to say. Anticipation of the "Tell Us About Yourself" exercise used to drive me into my parents' closet, where I'd hide under my father's jacket until some adult coaxed me out and loaded me onto the school bus.

Which is why my palms are sweating as I try to answer that question now at Modest Needs' request. Can someone please define "a little?" How much is too much? Where's the line separating "sharing biographical information" and "boring people to death?"

And am I certifiably nuts, or does this wave of anxiety hit other people too?

While the "Tell Us About Yourself" gauntlet makes me squirm, I adore meeting new people and, even more so, having an actual conversation with them. The irony being that it's hard to start a conversation without first saying hello and telling the new face in front of you a bit about yourself.

So here it goes: I'm a born and bred New Jersey native. I have an addiction to social media that is, at this point, incurable. I’m good with words and have a violent, physical aversion to geometry. And I've spent the last five years as a journalist reporting on arts and culture.

Reporting on the arts, a world which has always relied on the generosity of patrons to sustain itself, helped me discover what can only be described as the art of giving. And I mean art in the most literal way; philanthropy is an art form. It is particularly special because, unlike music or painting, it is a craft that anyone can be good at from the moment they decide to take it up. Giving is the one art form in which the novices can lead the masters.

Uncovering the art of philanthropy pulled me into the essential ongoing conversation about giving, a dialogue I was thrilled to discover has been furthered by Modest Needs’ groundbreaking approach to helping those in need. The first organization of its kind to crowd-source for donors, Modest Needs asks people to tell others a little about themselves in order to start a dialogue about giving. Once that conversation gets rolling everyday people take action, making everyone from neighbors to strangers’ lives better in the process. You can watch it happen in real time as grants are funded on the Modest Needs web site.

It’s an ongoing conversation that I’m proud and excited to be joining now as a member of the Modest Needs family, but one that only works if both sides are talking and listening. So I’ve talked a little. Now it’s your turn. I invite you to talk to me, and keep talking, anytime day or night. Ask questions. Voice concerns. Bring the attention of Modest Needs anyplace it needs to go. Show us how you practice the art of philanthropy, or praise the work of others when they do.

Let's get talking now. What would you like to see more of from Modest Needs? And what would you like to see less? You can reach out right here in the comments section of this blog, email me at [email protected], find us on our Facebook page, or Tweet at us directly at @Modestneeds.

And, of course, please remember to tell us a little about yourself in the process.

Cheers,
Kimberly Kaye

More Workers Turning Down Employer-Subsidized Health Insurance

Millions of Americans are without adequate health insurance in the United States, often because they are unemployed, self-employed or underemployed. This is because the vast majority of those insured are covered because their employers offer health insurance packages as a benefit of their employment. 

But lately, some who are offered health insurance packages through their workplace are turning down the coverage because the cost of the plan is too expensive. This move, which was sometimes made by very young, healthy workers, is now becoming increasingly more common, despite the risks associated with it:

The rising cost of health insurance is pushing more South Florida employees to consider what had been unthinkable: Passing up medical coverage offered at work.

A strata of young, physically fit workers have always skipped employer health benefits they view as an unnecessary cost. But insurance agents say a growing number of older employees and even families are trying to save money by switching to low-priced health policies they buy on their own.

Insurance experts say employees can find credible, lower-cost coverage outside the workplace, through high-deductible plans. But they say it's a gamble because it takes a lot of work to find a good plan without big holes. Individual policies typically do not cover as much and often charge higher co-payments and deductibles. They also can raise your rates at will and drop you if you get sick.

"Dropping coverage at work? Generally a bad idea," said Carlos Castresana, South Florida unit leader at Wells Fargo Insurance Services, which designs health benefits for employers. "Even if you're healthy, you don't know if you'll get sick."

Yet more employees are thinking about it as they reach their open-enrollment period to sign up for 2012 coverage at work.

In a healthcare system where insurance plans are doled out by employers, but the nation is experiencing nearly 10% unemployment rates, there is bound to be a shift in how individuals choose to purchase insurance. However, the rising cost of insurance for employers is being passed along to employees, and more than ever before some workers are opting out of health coverage. Is it because they make less now? Is it because individual plans are cheaper? Is it because purchasing health insurance would mean not being able to afford the medications they provide, even at a discount?

You'd be hard pressed to argue that the health insurance system in the United States couldn't use some tweaking. But this trend in turning down employer-sponsored health insurance due to rising costs is unprecedented, and may be a sign of a shift in how Americans choose to take care of themselves.

Have you considered opting out of your employer's health insurance package? Know someone who has? Please tell us your stories of how you choose (or don't choose) to cover yourself and your family in case of medical emergency. Weigh in below.

[Photo by Quinn Dombrowski]

Kids Taken from Shed Home: Punishment for Being Poor?

A Texas family made a shed into a home for its six children. Though not intended for residential living, the resourceful parents put in a wood-burning heater, an air-conditioning unit and a compost toilet. Water was gathered from a spigot nearby. It wasn't the optimum of living arrangements, but it was that or live with their children on the streets.

Recently, Child Protective Services in Texas took all six children away from them based solely on where they live:

Child Protective Services spokesman Gwen Carter said Leonard's children were removed because the shed is an unsafe environment. The agency does not remove children from their parents' custody based on economic circumstances, she told the Houston Chronicle.

"You could live in a mansion and be in an unsafe living environment," Carter said. "It's not the place as much as it was the circumstances."

CPS uses removal only as a last resort, Carter said. Caseworkers try to help parents in need find ways to provide safe living conditions for their children.

Leonard said, though, caseworkers made only one three-hour visit to her home and removed the children immediately. The family had outfitted the shed with a wood-burning heater, an air-conditioning unit and a compost toilet. They fetched water from a nearby spigot.

"They didn't ask us if we needed help or anything," Leonard said. "They just said, 'You can stay here, but your children can't.'"

You can read the heartbreaking story in full over here.

Now, I know there are no photos included with this story, nor was there any video. We don't know, except what we are told, what the living conditions were like. But, from the sounds of this article, this family was doing its very best to get by. Would the kids be better off in a shelter? In a crime-ridden housing project? Are they better now, without their parents?

It does seem a bit like the CPS is punishing this family for being poor, not for abuse. Or even unsafe conditions. Had there been complaints filed by neighbors or school teachers? And what will become of these children now?

There seem to be so many children overlooked by CPS, this removal seems extreme. Or is it?

We'd love to hear your thoughts on this below.

[Photo by rik]

Pretending To Be Poor: Evaluation or Exploitation?

A sizable portion of the population that Modest Needs serves is the working poor, the disabled, those hit by unemployment. These individuals and families deal with the burden of living paycheck to paycheck day in and day out. They know what it is like to choose between wants and needs. They know the value of a dollar.

Not everyone is in this situation. One such person is Tania Bruguera, an artist, who plans to pretend to be poor:

Though she's shown her past work at various revered art institutions around the world, Bruguera will live for the next 12 months in an apartment in Corona, Queens, with five illegal immigrants and their six American-born children. She will work minimum-wage jobs and attempt to scrape by without health insurance. In other words, she'll live as millions of people in the United States—legal or no—already do, she'll just be doing it for art's sake.

One thing immediately setting Bruguera apart from her immigrant roommates is that her project is being supported by $85,000 in grants from various arts organizations. With that money, Bruguera has founded Immigrant Movement International. The group operates out of a renovated storefront and seeks to "blend politics and art to empower immigrants." The only problem is that most of the immigrants in Bruguera's neighborhood aren't really interested in an art project.

They ask for English classes, jobs and legal help—services outside [Bruguera's] training. "They don’t want any art at all," Ms. Bruguera said. They want "very concrete and mundane things," she said. "This is what their life is."

While it is impossible to know the true intent of Bruguera in taking on this project, to say that it might leave plenty of people with bad tastes in their mouths, is likely an understatement. She's getting a large grant for taking on the struggles that millions of Americans face every day--a grant that could be used to change the lives of thousands of the working poor.

Is this project one that will inform and enlighten others about the hardships of those living on the edge of poverty's door? Or is it selfish exploitation of individuals who have no choice in the matter of how they live?

Let us know your thoughts on this already controversial art project wherein a woman pretends to be poor for an entire year, and the art foundation she plans to set up with her $85,000 grant.

Small Gestures, Big Impact All This Time Later

If you aren't a "fan" of Modest Needs of Facebook, I'm about to show you what you are missing out on. Recently I asked our lively Modest Needs community members to share "a time a small, kind gesture made a big impact on you." All the responses were touching and inspiring, but I've selected these three to share with you here on the blog.

Katherine Coble:

My husband was out of work and we had almost no money. I had a secretarial job that kept us from being homeless but none of my coworkers knew how dire it was. I hadn't eaten for two days and a coworker gave me a ham biscuit left over from a morning meeting. I've never had food that tasted so good.

Samantha L. Maynard:

My mom died suddenly and unexpectedly. As I stood outdoors at the emergency room on my cell phone hysterically telling my dad what happened, two strangers walked up and hugged me. I don't recall seeing them later in the emergency room with their loved ones, nor could I have told you anything about them. I just remember how incredibly kind they were to comfort me in my ugliest, rawest moment.

Karen Brady:

There really are so many, but one that I still hark back to was the man, quite possibly homeless, who appeared right behind my big van as I was trying to back out of a tight parking spot. He guided me out with gestures and then disappeared as quickly as he had appeared. His brief but selfless effort made a long-lasting impression.

These examples illustrate beautifully how small, simple gestures of kindness can affect someone in need, even many, many years later.

Want to be a part of discussions like this one? Like us on Facebook today.

Lots of People Want to Say Thank You

When we here at Modest Needs come to work each day, we start the coffee, turn on the computers and open our email. And each morning we open our mail to see testimonials from those people whose applications were funded while we were away. The month of December has been especially rewarding and touching for those of us in the Modest Needs office, because donors have been overwhelmingly generous during this holiday season. Applications are being funded within just days or hours, and the joy expressed by those who saw their requests granted in their time of need is enough to bring a few tears to our eyes.

Today I want to share with you some highlights of these December testimonials that were made possible by people like you who gave whatever they could to those less fortunate. Seeing just how far your dollars go in changing the lives of strangers is one of the highlights of our day, and so I share their words with you, too.

• "I know it may not be much to a billionaire or mean much to people who have it, but God sees the little things that is done. God is so good for me to be let into all of your hearts. This is the best christmas I have ever had that complete strangers have helped me. It gives me a different outlook on many things and I thank you also for the lesson I have learned today.

• "I opened my email this morning praying, and when I saw my prayers had been answered, my heart filled and so did my eyes; I am crying, but they are tears of deepest gratitude and relief. It is a terrible thing to be so afraid, to be so consumed with intense worry that we'll run out of heating oil. There is so little left in the tank, I go down there and check it several times a day, always anxious to  see how much the gauge has dropped more; we've been wearing layers of sweaters to try and keep the thermostat around 55, too scared to turn it up more than that. I just called my oil company with pride, to say the bill would be paid and schedule a delivery for tomorrow. This means we can stay warm, my daughter will be warm, my pipes won't freeze and burst, our home will be safe from harm from freezing temperatures here. You have participated in giving the most precious of gifts: caring for another, and my life,  my daughter's life, are profoundly affected by your contribution for us. I wish you great peace and love for Christmas..."

• "Thank everyone who helped my family. This is a real holiday miracle! We just talked too the landlord and they told us they would have to file eviction Monday the 20th if we didnt have an answer. But we held to faith and hope and you all have been the angels that we were waiting on. I completed my training and Im able to maintain the household once again. I am so moved by the love that this shows my family about the real people in the world and what God wants us to believe of our fellow man. We want to thank you all again from the bottom of our hearts because this is the best Christmas present that my family could ever receive. Me and my wife are in tears because the relief that we feel right now. We planned on honoring your generosity by helping others in need. Thank you all again from the depth of our hearts."

• "Thanks to the generosity of contributors and administrators of the Modest Needs Foundation, I am able to continue providing home care for my 93-year-old mother.  I am her only child, so the challenge of caring for her is mine alone. We avail ourselves of hospice care, the expense of which is covered by Medicare. However, I must pay for the skilled in-home care of a Certified Nurse Assistant, who cares for my mother at night so that I can get enough rest to care for her during the day.  This added expense adds a financial burden that I will not long be able to afford. We come from a long Italian tradition of caring for our family members in the home, and were it not for added help from the Modest Needs Foundation, I cannot see how I would be able to continue to provide for my mother in a way that she deserves and desires. Thank you so much for making this possible for us."

• "To all of the Modest Needs Donors, I want to say THANK YOU so very much for the sacrifices you all had to make to ensure that my family would not be evicted from our home. This has restored my faith I had for human kindness."

And this is just a small samping of testimonials received today. The good you are doing with your donations is evident each day in our inboxes. You can read new incoming thank yous on our site to see exactly how much your gifts to Modest Needs empowers those who are desperate.

Thank you thank you for making our jobs at Modest Needs most rewarding. And, most importantly, thank you for making a difference in the lives of those who really, really need it--and for saving them from a life of poverty.

[Photo by Iain Farrell]

One Man's Mission to Make People Smile

In Times Square, every weekday morning, without fail, there stands a shouting man. Amidst the neon lights, the jostling pedestrians, the lost tourists looking skyward, the honking of gridlock traffic, he is a constant. Plenty of other people wearing boards on their backs stand in the same area, pushing coupons and other sheets of literature at passersby, who routinely reject their offerings. His job is to hand out  copies of AM New York, a free daily newspaper. But he does so much more than that.

Without fail, with each new day of work, this gentleman yells at those who swarm around him. And a good percentage of them smile as a result.

"Tackle the day! Smile! Make the best of your day at work!," he shouts at commuters and vacationers alike. "Things are good! Go ahead, smile! And have a wonderful day as you go on your way!"

And he means it. There isn't an ounce of sarcasm or a smidgen of weariness--only genuine enthusiasm for spreading cheer and good wishes to those he encounters every day.

Often times those pushing papers on pedestrians can be pushy. Typically, they are just indifferent. But this man is intent on handing out good cheer along with the newspaper he hawks, and best of all it works.

I stopped for a few minutes today before heading down into the station to watch the effect this gentleman has on rushing commuters. And it was exhilerating. Those absorbed in their journey or scowling into a paper cup of coffee brighten, if only for a moment. They may not break out into a laugh or stop to talk with the wisher of "good day," but many who pass him are visibly lifted by his words of kindness and encouragement.

What can you do today to brighten the lives of those around you?

[Photo by Carl MiKoy]

What You Did: Grave Stone for a Grieving Mother

"A child who has lost his parents is an orphan. A husband who has lost his wife is a widower. A wife who has lost her husband is a widow. But there is no word for a parent who has lost a child."

I remember hearing the sentiment above in a movie, I think. I can't remember the name of the film or who was in it or what it was about, but those lines were so powerful that they will stick with me for the rest of my life.

I have no children. I am not sure that I ever plan to. And so, naturally, I have not even the slightest inkling of what it must be like to bring a being into this world, only to be crushed, completely, when they leave it prematurely.

But I know the pain of heartbreak, as most of us do, and I imagine that the heartbreak of losing a child is nearly insurmountable.

A woman in Hondo, Texas knows this suffering all too well. Nine years ago her daugter passed away from complications related to severe cerebral palsy; her little girl was just 18 years old. Compounding her sadness was the fact that she just couldn't afford a headstone for her dear daughter. For nine years she visited the grave of her child, which must be difficult enough, only to bear the burden of knowing that her daughter was not properly recognized in stone. It made dealing with her death that much harder.

All these years later, you have given this grieving mother a little relief. You, through your generous donations and persistent efforts, have given this mother a small respite from the pain. In fact, you have granted what she has called "a last wish" in her life.

More than 20 people pooled their donations--some as small as a dollar--to see to it that this heartbroken woman's request for a simple headstone for her daughter was granted. The Modest Needs community saw to it that her daughter is buried with dignity, which is an amazing gift. In fact, this mother told us that this is "the greatest gift anyone has given me or my family, thank you so much."

This, friends, is what Modest Needs is all about. Providing needs that can put a person back on the road towards whole. And you are the ones making it happen.

Bravo, team. You do good work.

[Photo by Simon Cocks]

Small Change. World of Difference: The 44 $1 Donations Application

On Saturday, while many of you were relaxing or watching TV or enjoying the last of the crisp autumn air, something miraculous happened. A woman in Owasso, Oklahmoa, a former victim of severe domestic abuse, was saved from foreclosure. She was allowed to keep her home--her safe place for herself her small dog.

She was only married for six months, but was abused so badly that she now needs sign lauguage lessons due to horrific hearing loss. She now has to visit a neurologist. Before her abuser left her, he took every single dime she had.

She needed help with rent, or she would have been put out of her home and into a shelter. She would not have been able to take her pet, her companion, along with her.

You heard her humble request for help, and you came through. The way in which you did so is most remarkable.

99 people contributed to this woman's application. 44 of those donations were for just $1.

You can't get a cup of coffee for a dollar. Often it isn't enough for a pack of gum.

But 44 people put in $1 each--perhaps as much as they could afford--and in time, along with 45 other (mostly small) donations--and together they saved the life of a woman who needed it in the worst way.

Sit back and reflect on those numbers for a second. Instead of thinking that $1 would do no good, 44 people gave what they could, and in a short amount of time that added up to salvation.

Your dollars, even the single ones, can move mountains. This woman's story is proof of that.

Kudos to the Modest Needs community for doing what they can, trusting that others will do the same, and making an enormous difference in the lives of strangers. To watch this is overwhelming.

[Photo by rychlepozicky]